Relationship Therapy

Relationship Therapy/Couples Counselling

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I offer a focused space to explore barriers to intimacy/ closeness in your relationship related to: communication, pornography, sexual communication or grief.

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Many couples communicate to each other in survival mode or like a parent/child and don't realise it. The same argument seem to be repeated and this fuels resentment and frustration.  I have found too that most people don't fully understand masculine/feminine or push/pull dynamics within their relationship and this is often the underlying issue.

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The use of pornography can have devastating consequences on a relationship. I can help you to understand what has happened and for you to both work through this barrier. ​

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 I aim to be non-biased to work out the blocks for the growth of the relationship as this is different to working with each individual. 

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Becoming aware of what is underneath conflict is the first step to creating understanding, acceptance and peace.  

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Many couples, not all, benefit from some individual sessions to release emotional tension and heal trauma which is impacting the relationship. 

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Individual work

Trauma (Sexual & Non-sexual)

Trauma affects most relationships, if not all, and creates issues as you then spend you life moving around the trauma and not living to your highest potential.  It could originate in the form of childhood neglect, abandonment, early rejection or from the death of a parent in childhood (open, historic trauma). You may have body shame (covert trauma) or sexual trauma (mix of historic, overt or covert trauma). Trauma comes into most sessions in some form.

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With any trauma, in particularly sexual trauma, it is so important that you feel you can trust me so the sessions may not start with the trauma. It is totally up to you. I want to be led by you and get to know you to build a trusting relationship. You may want to retell what happened and be believed or you may never want to talk about it at all. In the latter case, I can support you to release the emotions and heal the trauma without words or having to retelling of the story.

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It is worth noting that I do not repeatedly go back into stories as that does not support healing.

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Grief & Loss

Grief and loss comes up in all relationship work. Grief needs to be expressed otherwise it can impact health and communication in your relationship. Loss is part of everyday life and small losses can trigger other losses that have not been emotionally expressed. 

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Any grief or loss that is unexpressed has like a build up affect. It is called accumulative grief. I learnt a great deal about grief & loss working in Alder Hey Hospital with clients who had been affected by child death. Most significantly, I learnt that in every crisis/death there is also an opportunity to use this energy to be of service to yourself or another in a deeply meaningful and profound way.

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When you have had a death of a loved one as a child this affects all relationships if the grief is unexpressed. Grief blocks love so it is then hard to feel connected to your loved one and use this connection in a beautiful way in your relationships.  I can help you reconnect you to your loved one, find ways to honour them and use their loving energy in your life.  

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Men's Issues & Porn/Sex Compulsivity 

I work a lot with men around issues related to grief, loss, porn use, sex/porn compulsion (addiction), infidelity, sexual anxiety, sexual performance issues, problems getting into relationships, communicating and expressing self in relationships.

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I have compassion for men and the issues they face. There seems to be a lot of support for women but not as much for men. It is not as socially or culturally acceptable to express emotions or to seek help. Plus most are unaware of the dynamics of masculine and feminine energy so end up in relationships where they are not the masculine lead and feel powerless.